Transformation — we got it so wrong.

Transformation is the bedrock vague phrase at the heart of consultant selling.

We paint a picture of something that looks better, feels like the future, a vision; then we sell the steps to get there. The pinnacle of this was perhaps the vision video, closely followed by the sell-in deck.

We know that this way of selling is largely dead. But, it’s been replaced by something more insipient, the prototype. Before, we used to sell you an unachievable vision; now, we show you how a vision is completely achievable.

Except it’s not; prototypes work because they’re isolated. Isolated from the very thing preventing the business from achieving its vision. Collective habits, lack of personal accountability, leadership competition, and corporate misalignment. Prototypes will become the new vision video unless we learn how to apply them correctly.

Consulting suffers from the same problem as Western medicine. We treat symptoms disassociated from root causes. How can I say this with so much conviction? Because over the last two years, I’ve applied transformation to myself.

The continuous pressure of work, life, and ambition had raised my weight to an unholy 300lb+, but that isn’t true. That’s what I chose to think was true. That outside forces were impacting an internal measurement. What was true, my way of dealing with the external pressures was reinforcing personal habits that increased my weight.

Looking in the mirror requires you to overcome your cognitive bias then reflash your invariant memory of yourself. As humans, we don’t change much, so our neo-cortex has an image of ourselves that doesn’t change. That’s called an invariant memory. The self that we see in the mirror isn’t real. It’s a version of ourselves that we choose to see. For the invariant memory to change, it usually needs to be shocked. When this happens, the hippocampus converts this new short-term memory into a long-term memory, which overrides the image of the self.

But the shock is disastrous to business. We spend most of our executive lives working to avoid it. Shock is bad for the balance book, bad for investors, and bad for the stock price. And so we revert to the invariant memory. That’s why the vision video, the consultant deck, or the prototype work. They all access the familiar and comfortable image of ourselves as we are, advance it a little, and sell it back to us for the price of the product. (apologies to John Berger)

My journey over the last two years, working with some brilliant people like Charles D'angelo and Michael Coop Cooper has helped me understand how we really transform. Working with Charles, as part of his program, has been transformative, not only because he helps me to hold myself accountable for my choices, but also he’s absolutely focused on my transformation as a person. Charles does for me, what I’ve tried to do for the businesses I work with. Working with Coop helped me understand that my reality isn’t known or well understood by others and that in not understanding this fact I undervalue my abilities, assuming everyone can do what I can do.

To date, I’m 110lbs down. Yet, that’s just a symptom of the problem I’ve been unraveling. Most people, including me, don’t have a clear and focused idea of what they want to achieve. If they do, most lack an achievable plan to follow. Weight loss is a consequence of focusing on the things that fill you rather than the things that fulfill you. Food is your fuel to do what?

Arriving at this idea had more to do with personal accountability than diet and exercise. A diet is a way of distracting you from what you want long enough to lose weight. Exercise is conditioning the body to take on challenge, not an end in itself. Successful transformation is the alignment of what you want to do with what you need to do.

The tough part is that doing what’s fulfilling is much harder than filling the momentary void. But the extra energy to do it comes from the fact that you want to and need to. Transformation starts at the invisible center of who you are and then is projected out into the World in how you appear. To do it in reverse is futile, if not short-lived. The way I look now is a result of the work I have done on who I am.

I say all this with the admission that this is a journey. I fall from my great philosophical mountain regularly — the difference is that I won’t be deterred because I’m so deeply focused on what makes me fulfilled. Which gets us to the how. What’s a plan that can be followed?

I’ve focused on weight loss in every stage of my life. What shocked me into finally understanding the right approach was my 12-year-old son saying, ‘Dad, you’ve been doing this intermittent fasting thing for ages, it isn’t working’. It took some real soul-searching to understand why.

Any valuable change happens slowly, almost imperceptibly slow. I’m, as anyone who knows me will tell you, impatient. I used my plentiful willfulness to take on nearly every problem, and in my view of history, I did very well. Yet, if I was honest with myself — the exuberance usually resulted in fireworks and spectacle rather than real change. Both in business and in life.

Over the last two years, I applied a different methodology. I admitted that change was going to happen, and so the worst thing that could happen was to get injured. So, for all exercise, I focus on feel — I run by feel, I lift by feel. I use Rate of Perceived Effort to gauge whether I’m in the pocket of efficiency, and I focus on endurance and repetition. I learned to listen to my body, to the aches, pains, sniffles, and creaks — they all were signs of what could be stretched, what could grow, and what needed to be cared for.

My analogy for this is sandpaper. Creating a smooth surface takes careful application of pressure over time. Consistent pressure will always beat explosive energy. In a way this is how nature grows, overcoming catastrophic events with the consistent and systematic application of growth. Nature endures. To understand this is to embrace patience.

If we apply this mindset to business, we understand why most innovation, transformation, or growth initiatives fail. They are all short-term. Momentary investment of time and money applied to long-term strategic needs. To grow, we must continually focus on what we want to build and never be deterred. This isn’t an initiative; this is at the core of business.

My time with Gary Friedman at RH confirmed this. Gary is relentless in everything that he does, focused on a singular vision that everyone in the company is deeply aligned on. It was Gary who taught me about alignment. Everyone will say that they are aligned, even if they are not. If you keep asking people to retell the vision back to you, you will be shocked to find out how divergent people’s thoughts really are.

And the turnover of staff in a corporation almost guarantees that the long-term view will fail. The average tenure of a CMO is fifty months, the average tenure of a CEO is slightly less than a hundred months.

Which leads to a proposal. Boards, advisors, and chairpeople need to take on the imperceivable march toward the goal — the role of the CEO is to facilitate the steps toward that goal while also achieving the financial commitments of the company. The average tenure of a board member is more than a hundred months.

I love my board positions entirely for this remit. My relationships with CEOs have grown tenfold over the last two years because they can see that not only do I understand my role in their organization better, but also I’ve applied the methodology to my own life. I help them focus on the goal of the organization over and above the day-to-day growth. I look after their original thoughts and protect them from the daily distractions of running a business.

I have only been able to achieve progress by being honest with myself about what I want and what I can let go of and by holding myself accountable to each decision and whether that’s a step toward the goal or away. I’ve come to terms with the fact that failure will come and distractions will momentarily shift my focus only if I step away from my unwavering commitment to the long walk toward success.

As for business, I seek relationships with clients based on ruthless honesty and accountability that are not project-based. I don’t sell vision videos, sell-in decks, or prototypes. I ask hard questions and stay around to help people come to terms with the answers. Because I know that progress isn’t based on momentary pushes. That’s not to say that I don’t take on projects, but each one has to be part of the long walk toward greater success.